Sconce light and candle light are not the same thing. We have these wall sconces on either side of the fireplace. They are adorned with vellum-type shades which cast a nice glow. The room looks warm and inviting. My thighs in this light? Cottage-cheesy and terrifying. “Don’t look!” I tell David. “DON’T LOOK!“ “Don’t look…
Too much? I’ve got boobs. Largish ones. On occasion, there’ll be a day where I’ll get dressed for work and as I’m walking to the office, I’ll notice that my attire for the day is a little more low-cut than I had originally thought. I’m not talking porn low-cut, but enough that as I’m looking…
His name is Steve. He’s an orange tabby. Sure, exceptionally affectionate and purrs up a storm, but really your typical tom cat. If I were to put him up on Ebay, or Kijiji – what do you think he’d go for? Any guesses? $100? $500? How about $1000? This cat must have freakin’ gold in…
WARNING: There is Too Much Information in this post After the second baby, I ended up with a turkey bum. The midwifery student was given the chance to practice her stitchery on me after the episiotomy. I think it might have been her first. She fucked it up. I have this extra piece of skin,…
We took Rissa to Sky Zone in honour of her 13th birthday. In case you’ve been under a rock, Sky Zone is Trampoline Heaven. It is an indoor TRAMPOLINE PARK!! Imagine a velodrome, but covered in trampolines!!!! I know, right?!? After having seen versions of this mythic place popping up in people’s Facebook feed, David…
WARNING: THERE IS FOUL LANGUAGE IN THIS POST I bit the bullet. I bought a pregnancy test. Even though I’m in peri-menopause and David is fixed. I used it yesterday afternoon, right before my Mom, Dad and brother Michael came to visit. I peed for “at least 3 seconds” and “no more than 5.” I…
I used to go to Saturday matinees at the CFB Winnipeg movie theatre. Between the ages of 5 and 8, I’d get dropped off with a girlfriend (probably Kristen), we’d enjoy our 2 hours with snacks and then late in the afternoon we’d emerge bleary-eyed into the sunlight seeking out our parents’ waiting arms. When…
Is what I’m thinking because I haven’t had my period now in 12 weeks. I know I’m in peri-menopause and all, but there’s still this little part of me that worries, you know? It worries that this extra weight which I can’t seem to get rid of lately, no matter how much I over-exercise and…
1984. I was 16. I had a crush on a kid three years my junior. He was strong, he was brave, he was determined. He was open-vested. Atreyu. (sigh) Oh Atreyu. Screaming to save Artax – yanking on those frickin’ reins. And then (SPOILER ALERT) the damn horse drowns and now, almost 30 years later,…
We recently went to a wedding. At this wedding there were many young, beautiful couples – years, perhaps dozens of years, younger than us. We were seated with one of these couples. They were hip and happening and ‘NOW.’ But they sure as shit didn’t know how to kiss. I watched this beautifully coiffed and…