David wants to amputate his right leg… and replace it instead with a sproingy prosthetic. He has a pinched sciatic nerve – which if he were to actually see the chiropractor and/or physiotherapist, he could probably fix. But right now he thinks the best idea would be to amputate said limb and get a cool…
Every time. Every single time. When I open a can of tuna – I end up with tuna sweater, or tuna shirt or tuna blouse or tuna dress. If I have long sleeves on – I end up smelling like a fish market… I met David at the door the other day, wrapped my arms…
WARNING: This post is gross Me, averting my nose. Minuit, really pissed. My cat, Minuit, stinks. Really a lot. She has impacted anal glands. Probably on account of the fact that she’s so fat – something that happened when she developed her fear of people when we lived in New York for 6 months. When…
You never know how much time you really spend naked until your kid has a sleepover. Thursday night, Rissa had three other friends sleep over, and I had to make a concerted effort NOT to be naked in my own home. I had to close doors, I had to take a bathrobe with me when…
WARNING!! Adult sexual content in this post! The grinding of pelvises, the bumping of uglies, the making of the beast with two backs… The orgasm that makes you laugh or cry or yodel. It’s so freaking good! For the first time in at least a month, David and I reconnected… intimately. Right afterwards, we turned…
I love my husband. I adore him. I do. He is the best spouse in the world. He buys me pre-emptive chocolate when he senses the arrival of my period, he tells me I’m beautiful, he gives a great orgasm. But he cannot vacuum for shit. Our house is still on the market. (Want a…
True peri-menopause is upon me. It has been 15 days since my last ride on the red roller coaster. 17 before that. 23 before that. Desperately seeking the silver lining while my body is reeking of blood… Perhaps this portends the end? Blessedly sooner than my worry of 60? It does explain my cravings for…
This morning, as I was stumbling to the bathroom in a near catatonic state – I noticed something in the hallway. I couldn’t quite make it out – I had yet to wipe the sleep from my eyes. In the dawn’s early light, the something was dark and lumpy. And possibly rodent-shaped. And I’m not…
We are coming home late. The stars are brilliant in the night sky. Rissa says, “I know Orion’s Belt.” I say, “I really only know the Big Dipper. And maybe the North Star.” “Well, that one?” Rissa says. “That’s the, um… triangle… and over there is the octagon constellation and that one… is the…
I have been nominated for the Very Inspiring Blogger Award by Menopausal Mother – very kind of her indeed! Please check out her blog! These awards encourage bloggers to read each other’s blogs and to let the public at large know about the blogging community. I am, in turn, nominating 15 other bloggers. It’s like…