Yellls Rissa as she flops down beside me in bed this morning. She is VERY excited. I stifle a yawn, wiping the sleep from my eyes. “October 1st, huh?” “YES!!!” “And October is a good month?” “It’s the BEST month!!! First off, there’s TURKEY DAY (Canadian Thanksgiving is coming up in approx 12 days). Then,…
Behold the waffle iron! The best laid plans and all that… It’s the pumpkin’s fault. I had 3/4 of a can of leftover pumpkin in the fridge that I had to use up before it turned into a science experiment. You know the kind of experiments I’m talking about… Where a day in the…
Instead of writing an entirely new post about the perils of peri-menopause and its attending hot flashes from hell, I’m reposting this, on account of the fact that I’m pretty sure I almost died last night and can’t write anything new today… Is it hot in here? I awoke in the midst of another horrific…
8:02 a.m. Eastern Time. I was dozing in bed, desperate to grab any extra resting time. The smallest of shudders had me opening my eyes. The bed was moving. It stopped. I must have been dreaming it. (I was somewhat stoned on a cocktail of ibuprofen and acetaminophen – DAY 1 of my period. I’d…
Did you ever smell something SO GOOD that its presence within your nasal cavity brought you close to orgasm? Something so delicious, that you clenched with everything inside you and had a full on frisson go down your spine, making you gasp? That’s me, walking past the open door of a bakery. The smell of…
“Do you want to see what my navel can do?” We’re in the grocery store. Rissa is in full-on lunatic mode. She has been tying bunny ears on all the bags of our vegetables. You know… so they’ll be securely closed and it’ll look like we have an entire cart full of transparent rabbits. (I…
I freely admit that I’m jumping, gleefully I might add, onto the viral bandwagon here. Yesterday I discovered Ylvis: After the initial “what the fuck…?” during the first verse, I got it. I got that Ylvis are possibly the most brilliant and surreal musical comedy peformers – IN THE GALAXY. (Or they might just have…
Or at least that’s what I thought the physiotherapist said it was. It’s actually SuPRAspinatus. Supra – Latin for above and Spinatus from the Latin ‘spina’ which means thorn – which really has nothing to do with the spine, other than the vertabrae to which the muscle attaches look kind of spiny I guess, but…
“BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAAAAA!“ Rissa was laughing… maniacally… behind my back. We were waiting for our luggage to be pulled from the storage room so that we could all pile into the van and head back home from our girls’ dance weekend in Toronto. “What are you doing?” “I just totally licked your elbow and you didn’t notice!”…
We didn’t realize for the longest time. She was masking it so well. She was coping. But it became apparent this morning that my daughter has… she has… dishwasher blindness. (sob) Comparable to night blindness, dishwasher blindness tends to hit at a much younger age. Early signs of dishwasher blindness seem innocuous. Dinner ware might…