I HAVE BECOME A MEME
“I’m okay,” I murmur, transfixed by my reflection…
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I AM NEITHER PREGNANT, NOR HAVE I WET MYSELF
“I feel so confident in my pseudo retro-look! My posture is something my mother can be proud of! My shoes match my skirt almost exactly!!!”
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Surviving your toddler’s cold
Poor guy looks so exhausted. I know that he didn’t sleep well last night.
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Beware the Pre-Christmas Pluck…
This seems to be the perfect time to be really high on muscle relaxants…
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JOHN WICK’S LITTLE WHITE LIES
He is perplexed when I explain that were I to pick out a suit without him there, that the suit would not fit…
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Full of Moist
The sweat is… everywhere…
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And that is why you put your toys away…
It felt as though we were missing a limb for about eight months, but we managed to survive Rissa’s first year at university. However, with no one to “adult” for, we devolved into teenagers ourselves. We forgot to do laundry, haphazardly cleaned the house and rarely grocery shopped. Rissa would come home for a weekend…
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Watch out for the permanent intergalactic concrete.
Did you know that to get new countertops you have to purchase entirely new base cabinets upon which you can place said countertops? It doesn’t seem logical to me. I mean, when you’ve got cabinets… …FUNCTIONING… underneath the countertops, surely I can remove the existing countertops, attach the new ones, et voilà! BRAND NEW KITCHEN!!! Now perhaps…
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Big Apple Blindness
I feel it happening almost as soon as I step outside of the conference. By the time I make my way to the top of Columbus Circle I know it’s a goner. It’s gotta be the cold air. My thighs have gone cold with the breezy NY air. My left thigh still has some warmth,…
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Welcome to 50!
Dear Heather: “We are writing to invite you to get checked for colon (bowel) cancer.” I’m sorry, you’re…? reads the sentence again… You’re inviting me to WHAT?? “After age 50, your risk of getting this disease goes up.” How much? How MUCH does it go up?? Could I get actual percentages here? Into what level of panic…
