The most recent live-action retelling of Cinderella allows the viewer to get as up close and personal with red carpet style as one can get without attending the Oscars or Golden Globes. I watched most of the movie with my mouth slightly open… it was Canada Day with silk and taffeta fireworks. I’ve been…
In our old house, which had six staircases (two to the basement, two to the 2nd floor, two to the attic), our three cats never laid across them. They never lolled, never reclined, never became a stair obstacle. Our new house with one staircase to the 2nd floor? Is the cat equivalent to the local…
Those of you who spend thousands of dollars a year so that your child might dance, play hockey, sing in a choir, partake in tae kwon do, horseback ride, be part of a softball, archery or swimming team – might be familiar with Hometown Bingo. Hometown Bingo is legalized gambling where local groups/charities work each…
WARNING: Female issues will be discussed. You get to be a certain age of woman and you don’t put up with as much shit anymore. You’ve made it through early parenthood and you’re still standing. You’ve mostly got it down, you know what works and what doesn’t. You’ve developed a rhythm and that rhythm generally…
“Rissa, if I were a dude, would I be a douche?” I ask – brushing through my hair after my morning shower. “Pardon?” “If I was a guy, do you think that I’d be the type of guy who’d be kind of douchey?” “Other parents don’t ask these questions.” “I just had this thought, is…
“Have you seen my puffer?” “I think it was in the bathroom.” “I’ve checked there.” “Have you checked on the kitchen table?” “I’ve checked on the kitchen table. I’ve checked under the kitchen table.” “Have you checked on the bathroom counter?” “I’ve checked on the counter. I’ve checked behind the counter. I’ve checked in the…
“Not cool! This is NOT cool!” I exasperate. “What? What is it?” David responds. “I peed my pants FIVE times today while coughing!!!” “Oh hon… You’ll do better tomorrow… Tomorrow you can make it to six!” “Do NOT make me laugh.” I have already crossed my thighs in preparation for any laugh leakage. David and…
I’m not sure what we do to them, but eventually, all cats in our household run galloping towards madness. We’ve had cats who spontaneously paralyze, suck on carpet and hiss at the doorbell. Since we moved to the new house, Lola – sveltest of our felines – is now attempting to change breeds – she…
… when you’re in the midst of peri-menopause? They tell you about the sleep disturbances, the night sweats – all that great stuff – they don’t tell you that your dreamscape will be a cross between Terry Gilliam and Wes Anderson. Last night, Inigo Montoya was waxing my bikini line before he replaced my kneecaps…
“Ooooh… naked body…” says David as we hop into the shower together. He presses himself against me. “Dude.“ “What?” He lathers me suggestively. COUGH. COUGH. HACK. WHEEZE. spit. He stops momentarily. “You okay?” “Oh yeah, I’m great. Lung butter up to my clavical, but I’m good.” “You know what would make you feel better?” Without…