It was my favourite day. MOVIE BINGE DAY. It’s right up there with Christmas Holidays with family and Front Row tickets to Violent Femmes. MOVIE BINGE DAY has to include at least three, if not four movies. (Just seeing two isn’t nearly decadent enough.) David’s even created an app so that you can plan your…
I’m going to have to invest in new sports bras. More of the kind that do up in the back. Because, although I can clad myself in one of the pull-over-the-head types, if I very carefully manoeuvre around my damaged shoulder, getting this same sports bra off when it’s completely sodden with my post-exercise full-body…
I was just brushing my teeth. Brusha, brusha, brusha, brusha… Tongue a little pasty – better brush that too. Out comes the tongue! The toothbrush makes contact… Brush….. If this had been an animated film, you would have seen the bacteria on my tongue hitting the air, not unlike the spores from the kick-ass fungus…
“Minuit! Minuit! For the love of…. Scoot!! SCOOT!!“ Minuit lies upon our bedroom floor, a vision of feline pulchritude. She splays every splayable part of her body. Rolling onto her back, she raises an eyebrow. “Menh…?” “Seriously? I just vacuumed. How can you produce this much hair in 2 hours?” “Menh…” “Plus, I just brushed…
“It hurts when I smile,” says Rissa, as we’re chatting before bed. She’d mentioned it earlier in the evening. “The zit?” I ask commiseratively. “The zit,” she confirms – pointing to the right of her nose. She then does a Vanna White flourish. She tilts her head to the side and flashes me her best…
“OH MY GOD THIS IS SO GOOD!!! Turn it up! TURN IT UP!!!“ Muse’s Supremacy is playing in the car. David cranks it. “Best dirty guitar ever!!! You know where I feel this? IN MY VULVA!!!“ “MUMMY!“ “But I do. Every time those dark notes from that guitar kick in – right there in my…”…
Utterly exhausted, I climb into the back seat, voluntarily giving up ‘shotgun’ to Rissa. “Really? I really get to sit in the front?!?” “Sleepy. So very, very sleepy.” My mid-afternoon doze is kicking in, in a major way. Peri-menopause and thyroid disease make for insistent bedfellows. One pillow is under my head, plus I’ve added…
“Well, HELLO there…” says David. “Hiya. Don’t get excited. This isn’t for you,” I say, standing naked in our bedroom. Even though the weather in Southern Ontario this summer is not steaming hot, it’s still humid. The kind of humid that starts you sweating not 30 seconds after you’ve had a cool shower to get…
“Is there such a thing as ‘Cosplay?’ ” I ask. David raises an eyebrow. We’re still lying in bed, the alarm has just gone off. He yawns. “Uhhhhh…. yeah. Costume Play. Like people who dress up from Star Trek or Anime or Marvel characters.” “I was having this dream last night and it was all…
“Two piece or one piece?” “Are you going to need to pee at any time during the day?” asks Rissa. The thought of having to visit a public washroom while attempting to drag down a wet, clingy (to the point of achieving adhesion to my body), one-piece swimsuit, makes me shudder. “Point taken. Two piece…