WARNING: There are inferred epithets in this post. “HOLY $*&! MOTHER – &@%!%# JESUS! “ After dinner, on the nights when we’re not over-programmed to the nth degree – David likes to change into his pj pants and a nice warm sweater. We’ll snuggle in on the family room sofa and he’ll either read or…
thump… thump… thump… I didn’t think they were that smart. Minuit, in particular, seems like she doesn’t have two synapses to rub together. Steve will frequently roll off the ottoman by accident and Lola – well Lola is the sneakiest of the bunch – but it’s not like she’s doing cat calculus in her spare…
There are the foods you should be eating… You know, iron-fortified foods, brown rice, lentils, dairy products, fish… all supposed to help with PMS and all, frankly, bullshit. We don’t want them, we don’t eat them. We find our own ways to get through the inconvenience of bleeding from our vaginas. My Top Ten Period…
For the second time in my life I am catastrophically clumsy. I didn’t get the memo. The one where it tells you that when you hit peri-menopause you enter your second adolescence. I trip,slip, bump into things, drop dishes, stub my toes and fall up the stairs. Not down, but up. My dork factor is…
Last night at bedtime. “New career path Mummy! No longer will I be a chiropractor or massage therapist. I will now be… a NINJA. My catch phrase shall be “You will never see me coming!” From her position lying in the bed, Rissa launches herself up at me, pulling me flat against her chest, her…
Cause it gives me hot flashes. And now, apparently… Night Terrors. Not just regular nightmares, but crazy-ass, finding out that Nate Berkus, in addition to being an interior designer, is the leader of a boy band who has people eviscerated when you discover that they are 100% auto-tuned, full-on NIGHT FREAKING TERRORS. I had two…
Allow me to wax hyberbolic for a moment. I love being Canadian. It is the absolute best country in the galaxy! I LOVE it. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it!! I love living in Canada. The people, the wildlife, the breadth and scope of our land, the change in seasons… I am proud to be a Canadian…
I have been a redhead for more years now than I haven’t. There have been occasional comments on the colour now and again, but something about this newest shade is driving folks wild. Recently, I was in Toronto for a public speaking engagement. As I was walking to the venue, a very attractive, incredibly well…
This is the soundtrack for this post. I have always been fish belly white. Some smatterings of freckles on my face in the summer, but traditionally, my pale skin could be used as a signal point in the dark. Like you could line a bunch of me up on a runway and we’d be great…
I’m screwed. My new crush is totally inappropriate on at least 2 levels (there might be more). He’s an 18 year old boy. *face palm* (But really, if you think about it – this isn’t as bad as when I had a crush on Taylor Hanson when he was 16, because at least this kid…