…but in my dreams I dress like one. In my dreams I also carry myself like Audrey Hepburn. The way she glides down a staircase in Roman Holiday? That’s how I imagine I look. In reality I have WAY more linebacker in my presentation. I salivate as I pass by windows featuring adorable little smock-like…
THERE WILL BE ADULT LANGUAGE IN THIS POST Every girl experiences it. Asshole Douchebaggery. Behaviours that change the way a gal sees the world of potential romantic interests. It happened to me when I was 18. I had a string of bad luck. First there was “Kevin the Asshole.” We met doing summer musical theatre…
Looks so innocuous, doesn’t it? Our laundry/bathroom is on our main floor. We have two doors leading into it, one from the back hall and one from the back staircase.* There are occasions where I might bound into the room from either direction. Did you know that you can slip, in your bare feet, when…
I have a tendency to get distracted. Like today, when I was making very healthful (HAH!) nachos for my lunch. I walked away from the oven when I was broiling. This is a mistake. ‘Cause THIS is what happened. Nothing like a little oven fire to get the angina started. I once melted the bottom…
So I was on the streetcar and subway during rush hour not too long ago and I made a fantastic discovery. I wasn’t terrified!!! These modes of public transportation were jam-packed with people and I wasn’t headed for a panic attack. Many people have a fear of crowds. Mine stems from when I was 16…
So sometimes you just suck at parenting. You make bad choices. David standing at the top of the stairs with Rissa cowering below him on the landing three steps below. “Go get your book! You are old enough to be able to go down the stairs by yourself with the lights on! If you don’t…
I wasn’t awake enough when I was reading the news this morning. I read this: “Turkey on edge as Syria widens offensive” and all I could think of was turkeys threatening to jump off the ledge of a building. Which of course brought to mind the WKRP episode where they have a ‘turkey drop’ from…
WARNING: FEMININE GROOMING IS DISCUSSED! Why, oh why, oh why can we women not be happy with our bodies? Why do we obsess over details that other people don’t even notice? Yesterday, on the drive back from Toronto, what did I notice? My arm hair. Of course looking at it now in the light of…
My life will never be the same! WARNING – ADULT CONTENT AND MORE THAN LIKELY TOO MUCH INFORMATION – IF YOU’RE A PRUDE – DO NOT KEEP READING. SERIOUSLY. I AIN’T KIDDING HERE. ALRIGHT, IT’S YOUR FUNERAL. You know it’s a good bachelorette party when you come back with a broken baby toe and you…
I am a medical mystery. “Oh the medical mystery tour, they’re trying to make me okay… trying to make me okay…” You ever feel glad when the doctors tell you bad news? Like when finally someone says “Oh yeah, your thyroid is completely screwed,” there’s this weird release of stress with the bad news? Kind…