Now I doubt my intelligence and smell like cat shit. Yes it’s kitty litter day. And every single time I forget that I should be doing this job in a HAZMAT suit so that I don’t reek of cat. I should have kitty litter clothes. I have painting clothes – the ones that I wear…
So this is how it goes is it? I now injure myself sitting. I came home the other night, and I ached, oh how I ached. I could barely walk. My hips, my knees, even my ankles refused give me support. Apparently they were going out dancing, maybe speed skating or snowboarding while I was…….
Last winter, to ward off cold air chest pain, David purchased me my very own Cold Avenger / Darth Vader mask. Well, it’s winter once again, and though Ontario’s November was pretty damned temperate, December has been colder than a witch’s tit the last little while. Not generally a problem for most stalwart Canadians,…
Our cats, who usually maintain relative order in our home, lose their minds when the Christmas decorations come out. They dance on counters, bask on top of tables… We routinely find the dining room table cloth all askew, salt and pepper shakers asses up, chairs knocked over. All three cats looking up and saying “It…
The smallest of things can make me happy. Watching a dog cavort in the snow, smelling gingersnap body lotion, hearing Grantaire sing those four notes in his part from Red and Black, “I have never heard him ‘ooh’ and ‘aah.’ If you were to have those notes, plus the character Annas from Jesus Christ Superstar…
Luman L. Chapman’s design, 1863 When the words left her mouth – it was epiphanic! “Boob Cage.” That’s what Rissa called it. “Boob Cage.” What a revelation! ‘Cause that’s exactly what a bra is. A cage for your boobs. It is the perfect description. It completely brings to mind the sensation at the end of…
I’ve started trolling the Humane Societies. The Rescues. The Dog Associations. I’ve got the bug. And once I’ve got the bug – I can’t be stopped. We may as well just say that we’ll have a dog for Christmas. Butch – possibly my undoing… On a recent walk, David and I both agreed that we’d…
It was supposed to save us money in the long run. This tiered, wooden grouping of minature stacked presents Advent Calendar that we found at Canadian Tire. 24 wee little gift boxes with adorable hinged doors and one larger gift box for Christmas morning. It was PERFECT! No more throwing the old cardboard chocolate receptacles…
* The names have been changed to protect the innocent, but that only works if you haven’t personally been to this particular clinic. If you HAVE been to this clinic, you know EXACTLY who I’m typing about. “Which physiotherapist would you prefer? Justin is available…” “NO! NOT JUSTIN!!! … Uh, I mean… how about Walter…
“So if Rissa were a lesbian and she had a girlfriend, would you let the girlfriend sleep over? You know, seeing as there’d be no threat of pregnancy?” asked David. “NO!!” The word came out even before I had time to reflect. I think I was a shocked as David. Heather, the liberal minded, had…