WARNING: This post is about porn. Please don’t call CAS, but I wish I could show my daughter porn. I’m NOT GOING TO because I know that people would totally freak out about it, but I wish that I could. And before you start getting on your “You’re going to hell” and “You should be…
This morning I awoke to the mother of all migraines. She looked like this: Meg Mucklebones from Ridley Scott’s Legend The 1 inch of sunlight from beneath the blind – that tiny amount of light – was akin to having good ol’ Meg use her lovely fingernails to gouge out my baby blues. I popped…
4 days. I left them for 4 days. I tried. I really did. I was making a point. My point: do your own frickin’ dishes! There weren’t even that many: a frying pan Rissa had used for scrambled eggs, cutlery, some serving utensils, that green, silicone, paint-stick-style stirrer and some wee ice cream bowls. I…
Steve didn’t show up for breakfast on Saturday morning. Which worried the crap out of me because the last time Steve didn’t show up for food, he almost died and we spent $1400 at the vet. My heart sank. I was going to find him dead. I was going to go down into the basement…
Is what my friend, the OR nurse, thought I’d emailed her about. (I’d sent an email message to a couple of my nursing friends, because I figured that they are the ones on the front lines and know the good vs bad doctors.) My friend responded via email. “Very good news that your cardiac issues…
This is a sarcastic dance. You know what I’m talking about ladies. It’s awesome, right? You’re sitting at the computer before bed, trying to get some work done or at least check in on the state of the universe. You’re in some sort of nightie/chemise/tank top – sans bra – because wearing a bra in…
From a distance, she looked like a cartoon character – those big white paws grabbing for the soccer ball in that massive net. It was kind of like watching Mickey Mouse as goalkeeper. She made some incredible saves and had some kick-ass kicks. When she was in net, my heart was in my throat. Under…
It appears that I can no longer sleep on my side. Because when I do? My face develops sleep craters. I get up, well-rested, thinking all is well with the universe, until I look in the mirror. My face, which had enjoyed the delicate sqwoosh of the pillow beneath my cheek, now has a…
I was making my case to go see what looks like the BEST summer movie EVER – Pacific Rim. Rissa needed to do her due diligence. “Who’s in it?” “Who’s in it? Who are you? Roger Ebert?” “Who’s Roger Ebert?” *face palm* “I don’t know,” says David. “It looks pretty cheesy.” “Come on guys –…
Sometimes a birthday reaches perfection. First off, the weather gods heard my plea and took away the humidity which really helped with my wanting to murder those around me. David and Rissa made me breakfast and gave me these birthday cards: David’s card made me weepy when I read it. He wrote “I’m Always aiming…