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    Dirty old woman | Nonsense

    Stoned dudes in Sears

    Byheathertheblogger July 11, 2013

    I was recently in Sears buying underwear for Rissa.  I wasn’t really ‘put together,’ hadn’t dressed up, probably had no makeup on.  It was an emergency underwear trip – she needed them and she needed them fast. I was lined up, ready to pay with my 6 pairs of xs panties, when the guy in…

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    Body Image Blinders | Losing My Mind | Peri-Menopause Pandemonium

    i DESPISE summer!

    Byheathertheblogger July 10, 2013

    WARNING: There is adult language in this post   Just shoot me now.  Please. I know, I know… I know that I’m not supposed to.  After a long winter and meteorologically weird spring, I know that I’m supposed to be SO happy that heat has come to Canada… but for me, summer in Southern Ontario…

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    But seriously... | Nonsense

    Pocket-Sized Bombshell

    Byheathertheblogger July 9, 2013

    My friend is a bombshell.  When I’m with her, it’s like hanging out with Marilyn Monroe.   A shorter, more shapely Marilyn Monroe.  She is the flame to every male moth within her orbit.  Has been ever since high school.  Most definitely she is gorgeous, that’s part of it, but she has something MORE.  Something…

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    Losing My Mind | Nonsense

    This is your “Go-To”?

    Byheathertheblogger July 8, 2013

    WARNING – This post is about sex.  We took a workshop at an ‘adult’ club in ‘sensual sensory deprivation.‘  Welcome to marriage after the first decade.  When David mentioned it, I immediately imagined a water tank in the dark in complete silence, basically like being trapped alive in a box, pretty much my ultimate nightmare,…

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    Body Image Blinders | Peri-Menopause Pandemonium

    My boobs aren’t supposed to be there.

    Byheathertheblogger July 5, 2013

    So you know when you lie on your back in bed and your boobs nearly rest in your armpits?  What is that?   Remember when you were in your 20s and the girls were pert and perky and in their place?  It’s not like they’re National Geographic boobs now, but as I approach 45, they do…

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    But seriously... | Losing My Mind

    Touch her and die…

    Byheathertheblogger July 4, 2013

    I am now the mother of a teenaged daughter.  How the hell did that happen?  One day she was 3 and now she’s 13.  Rissa is now 13.  Except she looks like she’s 17.  She draws the male eye.  And not just the eye of her peers, but the eye of dudes who are a…

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    Losing My Mind | Peri-Menopause Pandemonium

    I brought this on myself.

    Byheathertheblogger July 3, 2013

    WARNING: Female things discussed. Peter de Seve, Thar She Blows (sketch) I am in idiot.  Why couldn’t I just leave well enough alone?  Sure, there was that pregnancy scare because I hadn’t had my period in 3 months, but why couldn’t I just embrace the peri-menopause?  Why did I have to seek out the OBGYN…

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    Animal Antics

    Snatched from the jaws of death…

    Byheathertheblogger July 2, 2013

    So basically, if you threaten a cat with euthanasia?  They get better.  That’s what happened to Steve.  One day at death’s door …  Me checking in on him every two hours overnight as he was sequestered in our main floor bathroom.  Him just lying there – near flat as a pancake and all glassy-eyed.  And…

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    But seriously...

    Rissa the Brilliant

    Byheathertheblogger June 28, 2013

    I’m okay in the brains dept.  I have my 128 IQ.  Or at least that’s what every free online IQ test tells me.  So I’m smart, but not Mensa smart.  David is Mensa smart – plus some.  He’s around 162.  But he can’t find the ketchup in the fridge, so draw your own conclusions. Rissa’s…

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    Way Back When

    The sweet smell of gasoline…

    Byheathertheblogger June 28, 2013

    Just one whiff of it – always takes me back… Back to 1984.  To being 16.  To spending the summer in Nova Scotia at my grandparents’ house.  To falling head over heels in love with a small town mechanic.  Rodney.  (sigh)  He worked at the garage in Bridgetown.  He wore grease-monkey overalls and at the…

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