Okay, so Chanel No. 5 ads. WHAT. THE. POOH. Brad Pitt is the new face of Chanel No. 5? My friend Meg said that it happened, but I thought she was high. Brad Pitt? Chanel No. 5? And then I found it – a 31 second commercial that can make the most nonsensical…
We’re at another wedding this weekend with little time to write/edit (fingers crossed for sunshine around 3:00 p.m. for Pete & Kate), so may I please direct your attention to these: Shilling for Schools (How to encourage our children to pimp) YAY!! YOGURT!! (Another reason why I love my crazy daughter) and The Twitching…
Yesterday I was in a public washroom. In one of the stalls, someone had left a makeshift toilet seat cover made from artfully placed toilet paper. Woman after woman turned away from that stall as if it the Black Death were in residence. I guess they all assumed that someone had done their business and…
So it’s that time of year where schools do their fundraising and your child gets to sell useless shit to your family and friends. I’m sorry, that’s unfair. In the past couple of years, at Rissa’s school, they’ve been selling magazine subscriptions which can actually be good things. They make good Christmas presents and such. …
We went grocery shopping today at the No Frills and it was an ADVENTURE. I bribed Rissa to come by saying that she could pick out a treat. First off, we had the turquoise shopping trolley on account of the fact that we walked. Rissa was adamant that she pull it along “I…” she paused…
Okay, so I might need a babysitter. I know that I keep posting that I don’t, but I think maybe… I do. My hips are hurting… AGAIN… Because why? Because I jogged on the treadmill and now my arthritis/bursitis is acting up. (And yes, I’m only 44 freaking years of age, but I was a…
WARNING: LANGUAGE Rissa was snuggled into her bed. I was lying beside her. From the main floor we heard David: “BLAAAAARGH!!!!!! SON OF A FUCKING BITCH!!! ARGH!! FUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!” Followed by “I’m FINE!. FUCK!!! I’M FINE!“ David stomp, stomp stomps back up the stairs. “Grumble, grumble, grumble…” “What happened?” I asked, maintaining a straight face….
So last night was the night before I’m the Matron of Honour in a wedding party. What time did I get to bed? 2:45 a.m. Not because I was partying beforehand at the rehearsal dinner. (Although I did see a friend totally kick ass in a drag king contest!!! Woo-hoo!) But I was home at…
…but in my dreams I dress like one. In my dreams I also carry myself like Audrey Hepburn. The way she glides down a staircase in Roman Holiday? That’s how I imagine I look. In reality I have WAY more linebacker in my presentation. I salivate as I pass by windows featuring adorable little smock-like…
THERE WILL BE ADULT LANGUAGE IN THIS POST Every girl experiences it. Asshole Douchebaggery. Behaviours that change the way a gal sees the world of potential romantic interests. It happened to me when I was 18. I had a string of bad luck. First there was “Kevin the Asshole.” We met doing summer musical theatre…