This is the soundtrack for this post. I have always been fish belly white. Some smatterings of freckles on my face in the summer, but traditionally, my pale skin could be used as a signal point in the dark. Like you could line a bunch of me up on a runway and we’d be great…
I’m screwed. My new crush is totally inappropriate on at least 2 levels (there might be more). He’s an 18 year old boy. *face palm* (But really, if you think about it – this isn’t as bad as when I had a crush on Taylor Hanson when he was 16, because at least this kid…
“OH!!!” “What?” asks David. “OH MY GOD!!!“ “What?!? What is it?” David now sounds a bit panicked. “Mummy, you’re scaring him,” says Rissa. “IT’S A MIRACLE!!! IT’S A THANKSGIVING MIRACLE!!!” I’m standing in Rissa’s doorway. My shock is palpable. I’ve never actually seen this – not while it was actually happening – not in my…
It hurts when I brush my teeth. My SUPER SPINATUS (Rotator Cuff) has betrayed me. I’m not brushing my teeth particularly violently or anything. I think it’s just those wee little movements at that particular angle. I start the day off wincing. And what’s really depressing is that it’s not from having had twisty-bouncy sex…
WARNING: This post is about sex I never thought there would come a day where I would have to stretch before having sex. Honest to God, it’s not like we’re particularly athletic about it. I’m not doing a handstand against the wall or anything. We’re not suspended from a chandelier. I’m just lying on my…
WARNING: Adult language in this post I never used to be this hairy. I mean sure, I had the pubes, I had the pits – I shaved – below the knee – because my mother had warned me against above the knee shaving as if it could end civilization as we know it. Taking my…
“If you had a fake laugh what would it be?” Rissa asks as we’re walking to her dance studio. (We have one car, David takes it to school, if David’s late at work, we have to figure transportation shit out. Rissa opted for the walking option instead of biking. This happened half way through our…
I get Detective Murtaugh now. I couldn’t before, but now that I’m 45, I completely understand him. Plus, I think he must have been some kind of super human. How could he possibly do all he did with Martin Riggs, a man a good 15 years his junior, and not DIE from it? …
Yellls Rissa as she flops down beside me in bed this morning. She is VERY excited. I stifle a yawn, wiping the sleep from my eyes. “October 1st, huh?” “YES!!!” “And October is a good month?” “It’s the BEST month!!! First off, there’s TURKEY DAY (Canadian Thanksgiving is coming up in approx 12 days). Then,…
Lola is a cat burglar. I mean literally. Our smallest black cat… burgles. She has a penchant for jewelry. She must be part magpie. Which is a cute little quirk generally, except that a while back she stole one of my most adored pieces of jewelery – a pendant from my friend Shannon. I’m pretty…