“OH!!!” “What?” asks David. “OH MY GOD!!!“ “What?!? What is it?” David now sounds a bit panicked. “Mummy, you’re scaring him,” says Rissa. “IT’S A MIRACLE!!! IT’S A THANKSGIVING MIRACLE!!!” I’m standing in Rissa’s doorway. My shock is palpable. I’ve never actually seen this – not while it was actually happening – not in my…
It hurts when I brush my teeth. My SUPER SPINATUS (Rotator Cuff) has betrayed me. I’m not brushing my teeth particularly violently or anything. I think it’s just those wee little movements at that particular angle. I start the day off wincing. And what’s really depressing is that it’s not from having had twisty-bouncy sex…
WARNING: This post is about sex I never thought there would come a day where I would have to stretch before having sex. Honest to God, it’s not like we’re particularly athletic about it. I’m not doing a handstand against the wall or anything. We’re not suspended from a chandelier. I’m just lying on my…
WARNING: Adult language in this post I never used to be this hairy. I mean sure, I had the pubes, I had the pits – I shaved – below the knee – because my mother had warned me against above the knee shaving as if it could end civilization as we know it. Taking my…
“If you had a fake laugh what would it be?” Rissa asks as we’re walking to her dance studio. (We have one car, David takes it to school, if David’s late at work, we have to figure transportation shit out. Rissa opted for the walking option instead of biking. This happened half way through our…
I get Detective Murtaugh now. I couldn’t before, but now that I’m 45, I completely understand him. Plus, I think he must have been some kind of super human. How could he possibly do all he did with Martin Riggs, a man a good 15 years his junior, and not DIE from it? …
Yellls Rissa as she flops down beside me in bed this morning. She is VERY excited. I stifle a yawn, wiping the sleep from my eyes. “October 1st, huh?” “YES!!!” “And October is a good month?” “It’s the BEST month!!! First off, there’s TURKEY DAY (Canadian Thanksgiving is coming up in approx 12 days). Then,…
Lola is a cat burglar. I mean literally. Our smallest black cat… burgles. She has a penchant for jewelry. She must be part magpie. Which is a cute little quirk generally, except that a while back she stole one of my most adored pieces of jewelery – a pendant from my friend Shannon. I’m pretty…
Behold the waffle iron! The best laid plans and all that… It’s the pumpkin’s fault. I had 3/4 of a can of leftover pumpkin in the fridge that I had to use up before it turned into a science experiment. You know the kind of experiments I’m talking about… Where a day in the…
Instead of writing an entirely new post about the perils of peri-menopause and its attending hot flashes from hell, I’m reposting this, on account of the fact that I’m pretty sure I almost died last night and can’t write anything new today… Is it hot in here? I awoke in the midst of another horrific…