I’m spending so much time stoned now. Not REALLY stoned. Just migraine medication stoned. And menstrual medication. And arthritis medication. I slept for 4 extra hours one morning after taking the most innocent-looking of pills. It was a wee trapezoid shape – so wee and pretty. It knocked me out. It was the best nap…
Pretty much can’t be done. According to one acclaimed costume designer – and this must intoned in a deep, throaty, Katharine Hepburn educated drawl – “There can be only ONE fat cat.” I’m not saying that there aren’t svelte dancer bodies in community theatre. I’m just saying that there aren’t enough of them that you’d…
Minuit’s delicate derriere That poem by Sandburg, with the line “The fog comes in on little cat feet”? Well, Sandburg didn’t know Minuit. Minuit is ‘rubinesque.’ She’s not quite as round as she is long, but she does a fair impersonation of that cat. She is the antithesis of most cat adjectives, being neither stealthy…
So this week I went to the One Of A Kind Craft Show in Toronto with my friend Meg, a OOAK Toronto Virgin. This show is SO huge that when you’re trying to navigate your way through, you need to give directions like this: “Okay, go west until you hit the Wawa goose and then…
Rissa was at a sleepover, we had the house to ourselves for the evening, so when we left Shopper’s, arms laden with chips and popcorn, we were intent on getting home as quickly as possible. (Insert eyebrows waggling in deliberate sexual innuendo here.) It was cold and drizzly as we raced back towards our…
Everybody wants something, right? And you don’t get something for nothing. That’s the rumor. Watch out folks, my inner Pollyanna is courteously clawing her way to the surface! The sun is shining and I’m filled with the frickin’ milk of human kindness. I have a proposition: what if instead of all the take, take, taking…
My weekend is full of Santa Claus Parades and Peter Pan rehearsals – so we’re into reruns… *** I’m not Scarlett O’Hara, which means a regular guy will not ever be able to sweep up into his arms. I was reminded of this the other night when David hugged me. I jumped up and wrapped…
I should just un-subscribe. That’d be the sane thing to do. From Old Navy and Ikea. From the Gap and Sears. From Style at Home and Banana Republic. UNSUBSCRIBE HEATHER!!! I don’t have money to buy any crap from any of the retailers who send me their online flyers. I have financial blinders on. We…
So… I put down catnip last night. This is the conversation I overhead. Minuit: (immediately pawing, huffing and rolling in afore-mentioned catnip) This shit is great! OH MY GOD! This is the best shit I’ve ever had! Lola: I wanna try, let me try, let me… (sniff, sniff, roll) oh WOW!!! Steve: I don’t feel…
I catch myself doing it. Yesterday was Pink Shirt Day at school in support of anti-bullying. Rissa loathes pink – she was wearing a coral coloured shirt. “I thought you were wearing pink today… for the anti-bullying thing.” “This is pink.” pause, 2, 3, 4… “That’s not pink.” “Yes it is.” “Rissa I hate to…